Grandpa Evan Cowley

On October 18th 2010 you left his world one week short of your 92 birthday ;)  I laid in bed thinking about everything you have done and seen in your life and you are truly an amazing man!  I know we will see you again.  I will never forget the Christmas Eve parties at your house, picking raspberries in your backyard, and listening to you tell your life story to my family for FHE.  I am proud to be your grandson and I am glad that we were able to invite you to our Temple Sealing before you left us.  We love you and will miss you Grandpa.  Till We Meet Again.

A wonderful blog of sweet memories from my cousin Hannah.

My sweet sweet grandpa passed away this morning. I've been in somewhat a state of shock today. Emotions going high and low, up and down. He was 14 days shy of his 92nd birthday, so we knew that his time on earth was probably not very long, but his passing was still a surprise to me. I always thought I'd have time to drive up to Idaho to say my last goodbye. If I had known my visit on Labor Day was the last one, I would have hugged him tighter, looked into his eyes longer, held his hand tighter, told him I loved him more than a few times, run my fingers across his ridged and bumpy fingernails again, let my cheek rub against his stubble, taken in a deeper breath of "grandpa", thanked him for the legacy he created, for the man he was and the man he raised (my father). People respected my grandpa. He was a living example of loyalty, integrity, testimony, and honor.

Some of my earliest memories of Grandpa Cowley are of Christmas time. Every year on Christmas Eve my entire Cowley family would gather at Grandpa and Grandma's green house on Lincoln. We grand kids would end up in the basement watching whatever Christmas movie was on TV (I most specifically remember A Christmas Story more often than not). I remember playing with his whiteboard and loving the smell of the dry erase markers. We would get out games and play twister, or play around on the stationary bike. When it was time for dinner, we'd all traipse upstairs. Grandpa would be carving the turkey at the counter or over the sink (with a large cutting board over the top, to extend the counter space.) There was always a bottle of Cherry 7-Up. I still buy Cherry 7-Up around the holidays because it just doesn't feel complete until I do.


The Christmas tree lights were always the lights I was jealous of. They had the plastic flowers around the bulb, they flashed, the star on top was flashy and silver. Being at Grandpa's felt cozy and safe. He and Grandma were so generous each year and bought each grandchild a present. They gave cash to our parents and let them choose something they knew we would love. We had a tradition to open the gifts in front of each other, going in order either youngest to oldest or oldest to youngest. Grandpa never stopped giving- he still sent checks to me- for my children every Christmas. It meant so much to me that he would be so unconcerned with his money, and more concerned with our happiness and seeing us and our children smile. Grandpa made stockings for each of my family members. Mine was unique from the others because though it was red like the rest, the toe and heel were green. He put my name and teddy bears on it. Later, after I married Lee, he even made a special stocking for him!


In that green house was a tiny bathroom upstairs. When you flipped on the light, an AM radio would start serenading you while you did your business. Grandma had a flower embroidered toilet seat cover. When you were done going to the bathroom and washed your hands, there was always a bottle of red chloraseptic waiting by the sink. I always sprayed some in my mouth and loved the way it tingled in my throat. Then I would look at the back of my hair through the mirror that was strategically placed behind the door on the wall at an angle. It was in the perfect place.


I liked going into his office and looking at everything on his desk, seeing his handwriting on papers, looking at plaques and honors. I loved going into their bedroom and sitting at Grandma's vanity. When you walked down the hallway, there was a large picture of Grandpa as a baby in his gown. Next to Grandpa's recliner on an end table was ALWAYS a little jar of candy. He had a sweet tooth. Next to the candy there was often a book of crossword puzzles. Sometimes I would sit at the secretary and pull down the desk, sit in the chair, and get out a coloring book and crayons and pretend I was doing the puzzles like him.


Every birthday Grandpa and Grandma, when she was living, would come to my house for cake and ice cream. I LOVED opening cards from him because they always held a fresh $5 bill. As I got older he would add a little more here and a little more there. I love the way he signed his card. I loved the way the "g" in grandpa curled a little at the top, and the "y" in Cowley curved a little at the bottom. He always wrote "love you".
In 1990 when I was 8 years old my Grandma Cowley was very sick. I remember him coming to my baptism, and we asked if I could be allowed to be baptized first because he was so worried about leaving Grandma alone. My baptism was May 5, she passed away only a short time later. I remember thinking how much he must love her if he didn't want to leave her.


After Grandma died, Grandpa started coming to our house for Family Home Evenings every Monday night. He would pick my sister Rachael and I up from our ballet lessons downtown. He waited for us outside the studio in his red station wagon, with the am radio going. I remember the car smelled like after shave. When we got to our house, we would eat dinner as a family, I loved setting a place for him at our small round table with the chairs on wheels. His place setting was always between me and my mom, with me seated to his left. I loved when it was his turn to say the prayer. He would clasp his large hands together, bow his head, and in his soothing voice say, "Our Father in Heaven..." as he began his prayer. One time in particular that I remember around the table was when Grandpa was reaching for something and he said, "excuse the reach, but the tongue's broken". He knew I didn't know what it meant and he explained the parts of a covered wagon. The reach, and the tongue. Grandpa always had quotes and sayings, and would sometimes sing a little line of a saying when something happened or you told him something.


I remember when Grandpa was "in charge" of treats, and the games, after our Family Home Evening. Once he brought soda pop in real glass bottles. He brought ice cream a lot. He taught us how to play "Buckle Buckle Beanstalk" which has been passed down to my kids. They love playing it too.


Grandpa kept himself busy doing temple work. I didn't understand what they were, but he worked so hard at doing extractions. He told me he would get up at 4 or 5 in the morning to go work on them. He did this for many years. He took a trip to Russia and he brought home a beautiful jewelry box that is now tucked into my keepsake box. He came over after his trip and told us all about his experience. He said he took lots of packages of gum and the little kids would all gather around him and want his gum!


Grandpa married Grandma Ernie when I was 11. I remember when we used to go over to his house, he often sat in his recliner in the dark. When he met Ernie a light seemed to come on. He was traveling with a temple tours group. He seemed happier and brighter. Ernie was a blessing to him, she helped with his loneliness and brought him joy and took good care of him.


After a trip they had taken to Hawaii to visit the temple there, they brought over souvenirs. A seashell necklace. A bottle of macadamia nuts, which we hoarded like gold! They were so delicious and we didn't want them to disappear. Grandpa showed us videotape of their trip. He was frustrated, but laughed at himself, that a lot of the video was of the parking lots and his feet, the camera swinging back and forth, back and forth... !!!


We used to pick raspberries in his gigantic raspberry patch in his "2nd backyard". Hours and hours were spent with buckets tied around our waists. I remember Grandpa whistled while he picked. He moved slow and always filled his bucket before I did! We would take the berries inside to rinse off in the kitchen sink sneak a few before heading home. He also had a cherry tree that I remember shaking to get the fruit to fall out.
There was a food cupboard in the kitchen and I remember for a very long time there was always a box of "chicken in a biscuit" crackers in the blue box in there. They were so flavorful and tasty. Sometimes I buy a box for my family and it's sentimental to me to remember being in his kitchen.


When I was in High School, Grandpa let me start mowing his lawn. We were trying to earn money to go to Washington D.C. with our horse riding group. He always invited me in for a nice cold pop when I was done. Sometimes he'd pull out a folding chair and watch me mow the back yard and around the garden area.


He had given my dad his old brown Buick Century many years earlier when he bought his station wagon. When I got my driver license the Buick "Tin Lizzy" became mine to drive. I remember being little and sitting on the armrest of that car, probably before seat belts became law, and going to dinner at Pizza Hut with Grandpa and my family, and sucking on those peppermint candies in the car, leaning way back and looking into the back seat and Grandpa laughing at me.


I went through a rebellious phase in High School. I started smoking and drinking. I did some pretty stupid stuff, and Grandpa's old Buick was the car that got me around. There were lots of tears, fights, discussions, punishments from my parents about my behavior. But none of that affected me the way one simple sentence from my dad did. One night, after he'd found a package of Marlboro lights under the front seat, he came downstairs into my bedroom and talked to me. He didn't cry, he didn't yell, he wasn't rude. But at one point he said, " what would Grandpa Cowley think if he saw you smoking in his car? He worked so hard for the things he had." I felt like I got kicked in the gut. I knew what I was doing was wrong, I was disgracing my family name and all the hard work my Grandpa had done to make Cowley a good name. How selfish of me. I made changes and never smoked or drank again.


When I graduated High School Grandpa and Grandma Ernie were again generous as always and gave me a gift for college. As I got older and met Lee, got married and started having kids I saw Grandpa less. But when I did get to see him, I always felt like he was so happy to see me. He always made me feel special. He always sang my name when I walked in the door. Whenever I asked him how he was doing, he never ever complained to me. He always said something like, "not too bad for an old man!"! He and Grandma Ernie sent birthday and Christmas cards to me, Lee, and my boys- every year.


This year Halloween will be a little bitter sweet for me. I have always associated the holiday with Grandpa because his birthday is only 2 days before. Every Halloween we drove to his house to Trick or Treat. Every single year he had candy bars and a carton of chocolate milk for us. This year, we will drink chocolate milk and remember Grandpa. My mom said it wonderfully;


"A name to honor, a legacy to be proud of."


I love my Grandpa Cowley so much. I know he is with God. I know he is with my grandma Carma. I know I will see him. In fact I think, he'll run up to me and give me a hug and sing my name again. I can't wait for that day!